Why Can’t People F’n Drive Anymore???

Lord Dukes de Enfer
4 min readOct 18, 2020

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My commute is Death Race 2020 everyday.

When I was a 12 a friend bought me a horribly racist shirt with a caricature of an Asian man holding a steering wheel and a giant ANTI- symbol in red around it with a line through him. I remember thinking, “I will never wear this awful racist thing”. For the record, I never have.

Although the shirt was horrific, in the 70’s and 80’s most immigrants from 3rd world countries were not ready for LA or San Francisco driving conditions. Most of Asia was poor and you didn’t have a daily opportunity to drive or even ride in the front seat of a car before moving to the US. Going from some small village in Vietnam or China (yes people, China was poor as dirt until 25 years or so ago) where you have an ox cart and a bicycle did not prepare you for the 405 at rush-hour. But neither did being in 80% of the other countries on the planet those years.

Now the world has enough cars and roads every person in Shrilanka should be an F1 driver, yet statistically, we’ve become worse drivers.

Just so happens, I have a theory…….

Prior to the early 2000s kids didn’t have much to do in the car. Video games were basic, occasionally someone had a DVD player but for the most part, you watched your parents drive. You had years to learn how to do it.

Humans learn by mimicking.

Science News, 2007, regarding a Yale University study

Children learn by imitating adults and will change what they know about an object to mimic adult behavior. Watching an adult do something wrong, or in a disorganized or inefficient way, can make it much harder for a child to learn to do it right.

Things that are complicated take more time and study than playing candy crush does to learn correctly. And driving a car in Los Angeles, or New York or Houston is complex. When you think about all the intricacies and laws you have to understand to avoid killing yourself or others, it’s sorta nuts we give licenses to 16-year-olds.

***This is not to be confused with distracted driving. Which is real.

The National Safety Council reports that cell phone use while driving leads to 1.6 million crashes each year. Nearly 390,000 injuries occur each year from accidents caused by texting while driving. 1 out of every 4 car accidents in the United States is caused by texting and driving.

1 in 4***

In the 1980s vehicle fatalities dropped an avg. of 2% a year, year over year. In the 1990’s they dropped an average of 1.55% per year. But in the early 2000’s it dropped an avg of 3.18% year over year.

Cars were safer. The beginning of sensors to help us park and avoid objects in our way. Back up cameras, etc. However, from 2010 to 2018 the trend was flipped. The safety trend dies (haha) and goes to almost zero.

How in the hell does that happen?

Self-driving cars alone should continue the trend. Your cars can wake you up if you fall asleep for god’s sake. The first 5 cars I had were essentially 2 ton balls of tetanus, rubber, and a cassette deck. My current car asks me questions and yells at me if I don’t put on a seat belt. Two of my first three cars had lap belts. I’m sure you are unfamilur..unless you’ve been “detained” at a CIA black site. If so, remember the waterboarding? They held you down with lap belts.

So what happened?

June 29th, 2007 happened. Yes, the release of the iphone. If you were 10 in 2007 you could have gotten your license in 2013.

US fatalities via Motor Vehicle.

Prior to 2007, there had been at least 40k every year but one going back to the 1960s.

2007 41,259

2008 37,423

2009 33,883

2010 32,999

2011 32,479

2011 we hit the plateau, then it reverses.

2012 33,782

2013 32,894

2014 32,744

2015 35,485

2016 37,806

2017 37,473

2018 36,560

There was one other contributing factor, child safety seat laws. Between 1998 and 2005 the US got serious about child car seat laws. Made them specific and mandatory. And put the kids in the back seat.

Why does that matter? In the front seat, you watch the road. In the back, you do whatever. If you are hyper and annoying you get mom’s phone and in 10 years you are the asshole who stops to see if the Burrito place is open on a major BLVD, causing three cars behind you to smash into each other.

How do we fix it?

That’s the fun part, we can’t. How can we? We can’t outlaw drivers playing with their phones while driving, you think mom isn’t going to give Jr. her NOTE 20 to play Fortnite on until she gets past Queens on her way out home on the LIE? No, we’re fucked until driverless is ready.

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Lord Dukes de Enfer
Lord Dukes de Enfer

Written by Lord Dukes de Enfer

Shit is about to get real. Or I’m just going to complain a lot. "Medium is the new Penthouse Forum" - Ben Adler

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