Why is your penis a different color than the rest of your skin?
NO IDEA
Have you tasted your own cum? NO
Do you masturbate with different objects around the house to spice things up? NO
Do you feel when your balls shrivel and contract? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
Does your penis feel warmer when it’s in boner form? NO
Why do you have to readjust your balls? EVER HAVE TO ADJUST YOUR BRA?
Where did they go and where do they need to be? CLEARLY SOMEPLACE OTHER THAN ARE
Can you accidentally sit on your balls?
NO
Do they go “squiiiiiiish” when you do?
Why does cum sometimes shoot out like a cannon, and other times dribble out like drool? CANON - YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB, DRIBBLE - YOU ARE NOT
Does your penis flop up and down while you’re running? NO
Can you ever have a bad orgasm?
YES, SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A UTILITY ORGASM.
How many times can you cum in 24 hours?
WHEN YOUNGER, I THINK I DID 10 ONCE.
Are men lying when they say they haven’t named their penis?
I NEVER HAVE
Can you pee sitting down if you have a big dick? YES, YOU GET USED TO KEEPING A HAND THERE TO RUN IT BACK OVER MAKING A LOOP SO IT DOESN'T TOUCH ANYTHING.
Can you poop sitting down if you have a big dick?!?
Why do you always want to put it in a butt?
BUTTS ARE AWESOME, YOU JUST HAVEN'T FOUND ANYONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO IT.
What’s in there that’s so special?
Can you cum just from having the tip played with? I CAN'T
How about just the balls? I CANT
There must be someone who can orgasm just from ball play, right? MAYBE, BUT SOME WOMEN LIKE JACKHAMMERING, SOME DON'T. SAME CONCEPT
Do you get self-conscious about the size of your balls? NO
Come on — you’ve stuck something up your butt while masturbating right?
SEVERAL DIFF EX-GF'S HAVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THAT. ITS KINDA MAGIC, BECAUSE IF YOU STUFF SOMETHING UP MY BUTT IT MAKES MY DICK GET SOFT AS BUTTER. IMMEDIATELY.
Just to see what it feels like?
Can you pee when you have an erection?
KINDA, BUT NOT REALLY.
What does wearing a condom feel like? Does it really feel horrible or are you guys just complaining because you want to raw dog it?
EVER WATCH A ZOO'D TIGER COME UP TO THE GLASS AND JUST STARE AT A SMALL CHILD? EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
Does getting a blow job from a girl with a tongue ring make a difference?
ITS ANNOYING
Can you really get a boner just from looking at someone on the street? I GET HARD ENOUGH TO WRITE MY NAME IN YOUR CAR'S WINDSHIELD FROM SLEEP, SO YEAH. WHEN I WAS 14-25 I WAS SLIGHTLY MORE ERECT THAN NOT. THE ENTIRE TIME
Is blue balls really a thing? Or is it just a psychological?
ITS AWFUL. ITS REAL. ITS AWFUL
Don’t you feel like an asshole using that as an excuse to get a girl to sleep with you?
DO YOU FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE FOR JUSTIFYING SLEEPING WITH A GUY SO HE WON'T GET BLUEBALLS?
What type of sex feels the best for a man? Jackhammer sex? PRIOR TO 28 (OR SO) ANY/ALL SEX IS AWESOME. AFTER, SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU LIKE.
Do you like the way your penis smells? HOW WOULD I KNOW?
If you have a foreskin, do you rub it between your fingers when it’s soft?
If you don’t have a foreskin, do you wish you did? DO I WISH I HAD DICK CHEESE AND A (STATISTICALLY ) GREATER CHANCE OF PENILE CANCER? - NO. I'M GOOD.
Do you think your penis is beautiful? MAGNIFICENT.
Sex and Satire
Who says sex can’t be funny?
Follow
388
7
